Lets just get rid of Religion. Period.

PLEASE NOTE: The following article is not meant for the Humor-impaired.

I was over at Betmo's blog reading a posting about John Dean's book on how the Religious right in America has hi-jacked the Republican party. It made me think..... Religion is sure taking it in the shorts, isn't it?. From their taking over a vast segment of the electorate, to the Muslim faith being a major influence in the world and its association to terrorism, ... the Catholic church in the news either by electing a new Pontiff, or molesting little boys,... it is just taking a black eye, this religious thing is....

How did it get to be this way? What happened to the innocence of "...one nation under God",... what happened to going to Sunday School and thinking it was an All American thing to do?, What happened to praying before a high school football game? when did that become an abomination to the American way of life?... I've read a ton of articles, a few books, ... Talked to my Dad who is an ordained Minister,.. And I am still pondering as to what happened (Did the Devil finally win?). How in the Hell did religion become a 4-letter word, a bastion of fear for unbelievers, something to march against?...

So, in my usual way of fixing all the world's problems with the stroke,... er a few clicks of the keyboard, I will entail to rid the Earth of all semblance of Religious symbols so the we can live happily every after. Ready?... Here goes:

As King of the World, I've decided (by fiat) that all things religious should be offensive to our sense of beauty and political correctness. I mean seriously, with all the removing of the Ten Commandment Tablets from government buildings, the dropping of prayer from Schools, .. The sudden secularism of our every day lives,.... I've finally bought into the idea. I a convert! (pardon the pun). But why stop at these little tokens of anti-religious action?... Oh hell no! Lets go for broke. First amendment be damned (oh that's right, ... damnation is a religious term,... sorry!) Effective immediately:

1) No more public displays of Crosses, Star of David (or Peter for that matter), Muslim crescent moons. Zippo. All churches, Mosques, Synagogues and Devil Worship halls have to be in non-offensive building with blacked-out windows, and sound-proof so that none of this offensive message hurts my earlobes.
2) No more starting the Congressional day with a prayer.... And while you're at it, fire the Damn Congressional Chaplain! (have we no respect for the separation of Church and State?)
3) The dollar bill?.. no more of the "In God we trust" crap. Nope. It changes to "In Wall Street we trust" of maybe "In Desperate Housewives we trust" or.....
4) No more Christmas. Sorry. Christmas is the celebration of Christ, and that is a no-no,.. so kill the Federal Holiday, kill the festivities, no more going broke for the winter buying stupid presents, no after-Christmas white sale,..... why should this be a National Holiday? (Church and State, remember?)
5) Speaking of Federal stuff, is the National Cathedral in Washington operated by anything remotely close to a government agency?.... cause of it is.... then it's toast. Lets turn that relic into low income lofts, and a shelter for the homeless and battered woman. That is certainly the Lords way, is it not?
6) No more using the airwaves for broadcasting of religious services. The airwaves are owned and operated by the FCC (as our representatives, of course), hence a no-no. Give the airtime to QVC, ESPN3, Bravo, Oxygen, HotSex.com, and of course NPR and PBS, ....those gatekeepers of real American values.
7) All Navy, Air Force, Marine and Army Chaplains are to be summarily dismissed. We cannot afford to have men of the cloth (or no-cloth as in the case of Pervert Priests...) sucking on the taxes of the American citizens. Screw 'em. We don't need no stinkin' chaplains to go to battle. Give em a pack of Lucky's, a Humvee (hold the body armor of course) and send them on their way. Besides, has God stopped any IED's from maiming 12,000 GI's?.... I didn't think so.
8) Lastly, Los Angeles, San Antonio, San Francisco, San Diego, San Juan (I know, its Puerto Rico but we subsidize their asses too),.... what do these cities have in common? Why, of course! they were all named after Catholic Saints. Oooops! How can we have let this happen?... sorry. Let the networks come up with a reality show that exposes how legislators come up with new names,... think of the ratings!! Los Angeles can be Los Lobos, San Antonio can be.... South Antonio? San Francisco?... oh I don't know,... call it the real "Sin City" (what did Vegas do to deserve that anyway?).. oh damn!, "Sin" denotes religion,........ shit! Think of something else.....

See how easy that was?.... Now we can all live in secular heaven (oooops!) forever, and ever,..... Amen~~ (dangit, habits are hard to break...)

P.S. Thanks to Obob and Robert for their comments and reminding me of the following:

9) No more cussing and using profanity using words like Goddamit or Holy Shit,... lets get that religious reference out of our venacular and replace them with more secular barbs like,... "Oprahdamit" or "mother-feces"..... much more cultural.

10) A few Holidays I missed, Thanksgiving (and kill the prayer before mowing down the turkey), St. Patrick's Day (Like the Irish need another reason to drink),.... Easter (again, no celebrating resurrections of any kind).... get rid of all of them. More days of production for the American worker. Besides, no self-respecting beer lover would be caught dead drinking green beer, right?

"Culture of Corruption" does not stop with the GOP

This is the first time I link up to any other blogger's posting, and its a good topic. Its about the hypocrisy of a major party in regards to corruption. My thanks to Trucker Philosophy for this post . Although he steadfastly defends his party (GOP) as he has every right to do, the general theme and point of his rant rings true to my sense of today's politicians. Look at this chart he posted as provided by the L.A. times as to how deep and connected Harry Reid is in the affairs of Nevada. Are they all illegal or dubious affairs? I'm not saying that, I'll let you interpret the chart for yourself. The Elephant and the Donkey are apt mascots for the two major parties, big, fat, slow and prehistoric. And to think I considered re-joining one these two monolithic entities. I'll vote for Nader before I do that. He may be a socialist and anti-capitalist (yikes) but at least he does not pretend to be something he is not.
... this link-up stuff is fun, I may get addicted...

The speech she will never give....

"My fellow Americans. I stand before you in humility, transparency and candor, asking for your support as the candidate for the party of my choice, the party of my husband -President Clinton-, and the party that I believe is the first best solution for the future of this country,.. my country, ... your country. This party is the Democratic Party.

In the past few weeks, I have been thinking about many things that are the talk of the moment; the obvious current events of corruption in both -yes both- parties, the ongoing turmoils of the war in Iraq, -a war which I supported and voted for-, and a war I am seriously questioning now..., and the many things that concern both my constituency in the great state of New York and my fellow citizens across the land. After this speech, you will hear much about its content in the media and there is a very good likelihood that I will be chastised even amongst my own partisan associates. So be it. I hope to be judged by the body and spirit of my words and not by the cherry-picking of the content.

Let me speak plainly and simply. I want to be President of the United States. I know and believe that I am qualified, fit and prepared to both care for the highest office of our nation, and represent what is best of us to the rest of the world. I believe time and fate puts us all at a crossroads where we must choose a direction, and have to choose wisely. I am choosing to lead my country during one of the most difficult periods of our nation's history. But what makes me the best candidate?... I mean really... who am I?... Do you know me? Besides the stories in the media, my well-documented public life, my 6-year record in the Senate.... do you know who I am? I have concluded that for the most part, you don't. I believe what you know is the tip of the proverbial Iceberg, and forgive the cold analogy -for I believe I have a warm heart and a giving soul-, but no other metaphor can so clearly express how I feel in regards to the public knowledge of who I am. I have recently come to conclude that the days of public officials telling just enough of who we are, -just to get elected-, are over. I believe that if I want to serve and have the trust of you, -my fellow Americans-, that there can be no area of consequence -directly or indirectly- than cannot be put in light for examination and judgment of my fitness to Govern.

In the next few months I will embark in the most comprehensive public "question and answer" sessions that any politician in my era has dared in venturing. Not because I am brave, .... believe me, regular citizens and other persons have a way of vectoring a question in a more pointed and direct way than any media member can contrive; and the idea of once more opening my closet for all eyes to see,.. well, you cannot imagine the anxiety that causes in me, not to mention my family. But it has to be done. My goal is to answer questions, ... to clarity mis-conceptions,... to finally put to rest mis-quotes or quotes out of context,... and even to bring closure to matters that my seem hypocritical in the public record of my quotes. If I made a mistake, I will correct it. If I mis-spoke, then hopefully my earnest try to come clean can go a long way in my rehabilitation in your eyes. In the meantime, let me start right here, right now. First my flaws and mistakes.

Throughout my life, I've been forceful in guarding those closest to me, .. more specifically my husband and daughter; and this trait of mine has led me to situations of over reaction. Let me give you a few examples,... if I may. The "vast right wing conspiracy" statement during a difficult time was probably said in anger, calculation for political gain.... heck, fill in the blank. Today I know a little different of course,.... there are right wing and left wing persons of good heart and well-meaning ways all over the country. For me to lump everybody into a little hole was a lashing out due to embarrassment and frustration. At the time I had no idea of the totality of the truth around me... around the administration, around my family, and particularly ...., around my husband. I apologize for what in hind-sight was not my best moment.

The handling of the white house travel office firings was another. If I was not happy or content with the way of business in that office I should have gone through proper channels and not been so flippant in my demeanor. It was wrong and petty... and I fell victim to a personal moment of frustration. I apologize whole-heartedly to those I hurt, to those unjustly fired,.... and for not being transparent with due process. That mistake cannot, and will not happen again.

Lastly... much has been made on my non-apology for the vote to authorize the going to war in Iraq. Let me say this once and for all. I believe the intelligence was flawed, ... that it was manipulated and used in a way that at the very least,... at the very LEAST was dubious and gray ... Intelligence -by the way- that compelled even my husband to say the same things about Saddam Hussein back in 94'. Regardless, ... even though I believe that evil must be destroyed and contained, even though I believe President Bush and Secretary Rumsfeld have managed the war badly and terribly,..... I would have STILL voted for the war, even today, if... and I repeat .. IF I believed in my heart today what I believed that day. Just because is it the thing to do nowadays ... to apologize for that vote and all that,... I'm not going to follow the herd. The results of this war and the travesties of Abu Grahib, Haditha et al,... have been terrible for the image of America to the world,... and have not been kind to us as a people. My sin is this,.... there is a fine line between providing the voice of the loyal opposition and that of grandstanding a President in charge of war,.. all for political gain. THAT was wrong,... IS wrong for us to continue to do so. For years, the Senate and Congress stopped at the water's edge when it came to the critique of our Nation's foreign policy. But it is apparent that those times are not existant any more. We cannot as a nation, as public servants, as politicians, .. weaken the office of the presidency, we just can't,.. should not. The office is larger than the person,... critique of the man should not go hand in hand with critique of the policies of the office-holder. Mr. President,... although I dis-agree with many of your policies,... I wish some of my statements were more measured, less personal and respectful of the office. I hereby apologize if any of my quotes have impaired your ability to do the job of the office. How can I aim to one day serve the people of American in its highest office, when in my way of getting there I decimate the very respect I have for it? .... How can any of us in the democratic or republican party, wanting to sit in that office, be so discarding of our message, when its very essence damages the very place we wish to govern from?

The democratic party must put country before self political interests. The democratic party must start saying what we are FOR,... rather than repeating what we are against. The democratic party cannot keep saying "culture of corruption" when we have had the same sins ourselves. The democratic party has to come clean.... I have to come clean,.. I HAVE to come clean. I want to lead, I want make change that benefits us all, no matter if you voted for me or it you did not.

My political life may have ended right here, and right now.... or maybe it has been resurrected by the new found faith given to me by you... the people. I don't want to demand that trust, I want to earn it. I hope you give me the opportunity to enter you life in a new light, that you find it in your heart and to the benefit of your family and community to see me as a person of reason and integrity. If I am found wanting?... I can accept that. I ask the eyes of America to look at me one more time, and decide if I have what it takes to be your President,... the nation's first female President. I think I am ready, ... and ask for your support.

Thank you , and good night... "

If I was not a Libertarian...

I've not been very impressed with my party lately, the Libertarian Party (www.lp.org) that is. Although the most viable 3rd party option, we still get thumped by the green party in national politics, but what the hell; we keep chugging along. At the same time it gets frustrating. How do I make a change and really influence what I believe in? Do I keep sledging through the mud of 3rd party hell? or do I play the insurgent madman, join a major party and try to spark the larger debate from within? If my party did not exist, what would be closer to my beliefs, the Donkeys or the Elephants?

Why not let my friends here at bloggerville help me out. I have plenty of both parties represented in my list of visitors so I think I'll get my share of fair and balance (no pun intended). So I will give you my issues, point by point and maybe you guys can give me a brief paragraph as to why I soul join the Dark side, or light side, or whatever you deem you party to be. Here goes.

War / Military: As a classic conservative, I don't believe in foreign intervention (I leave that to the neo-cons). I believe in using the military only for domestic defense or in defense of my neighbor if I feel his ass is going to get run over by somebody who will soon by on my border. The whole notion of nation building and spreading freedom is a Liberal and idealistic concept that I simply do not subscribe to. Liberty may by a human endeavor, and democracy may be the best form of government (for us folks with flushing toilets) but I don't think its my or my country's business to shove my idea of freedom or governance to anybody.
(Am I a democrat? or a Republican?)

Education: I think public education, while noble in intent, has failed miserably. The unions have made their member's well-being more important than the audience it serves, the kids. But, unlike my Libertarian brethren, I believe government can assist and enable national standards of grading, curriculum and systems. The problem is that there is no choice. You mention vouchers and the unions go ape-shit, the districts see their $8,000 per student federal dole flying away and before we know its a cluster-puck of politics. Why not have more charter schools? why not have tax deductions for home-schooling? Abe Lincoln was taught in a one-room class and to this date I don't think any of OUR kids has his penmanship... I think public education is good, I think it has to be overhauled at the core level, unions have to be peeled from holding the states by the balls, and parents HAVE to be forced (yes forced) to participate in the education of their kids. If uncle Sam is pony-ing up 8 grand to put your offspring through school, then you should show your damn appreciation by doing your part in after-school programs and helping with their schoolwork. But that's just me.
(so what am I, a republican? or a democrat?)

Social programs: Morally I believe it brings the best of us when we as a society care for those who cant provide for themselves. There I threw you a liberal bone. Now lets get down to brass tax (damn that work makes me jumpy). Social Security?... kill it. This was a little program plowed through congress by FDR that was supposed to be a temporary fix during the great depression. As all Federal programs, it never died. It got bigger and bigger, to the point that politicians use it to scare the shit out of seniors. Republicans say that the system is broken and it needs to be fixed or it will bankrupt in however many years, so they want to privatized it, make it more individually manageable,... basically then want to have what Congress and Galveston Texas has but nobody else does, the ability to make more that the paltry 1% interest rate it gets now. Democrats, tell me that those mean Republicans want me to whither on the vine when I am retiring by killing the holy grail of social safety nets. How did we ever make it before social security?... I wonder about that. I believe we should kill the program, give the money back to the people and let them invest it as they see fit. Why the hell does government have to baby sit my ass? Besides, since when do the Feds manage anything better than private enterprise? Name me one, ONE paragon of fiscal success in any Federal level..... I'll wait while you think of one.
(don't even bother, I know this makes me a quasi-Republican in this matter but go ahead and tell me anyway)

Taxes: Please forgive my up-chucking as I plow through this most painful of subjects. I believe that taxes are necessary, yes I do. The military (capped), roads, infrastructure, public schools and universities, police, firefighters and hospitals,... Basics of society's needs. Got it?... ok now the carving knife comes out. Mass transportation? only in cities. These quaint little railway systems are money pitts. They work great in Europe where the populace is centered around the metro areas, but in USA where suburbia is exploding? forget it. Amtrak? kill it. Gas tax? Instead of blaming the recent high gas prices on the flavor of the month issue, maybe by cutting the obscene dollar or so that state, federal and local government's make per gallon, we would have never been so damn expensive in the first place. Let's see, every one of my take-home checks is 40% light. Imagine that. Then I pay taxes on food, gas, sales, insurance, utilities, DMV fees, ... I am being bled to to the bone, all to subsidize crap I don't want, or don't need,.. or care for an increasing percentage of socialists who want to live on the largesse of a system they rebel against. Ironic, isn't it?
(So what am I? A republican or a democrat?)

Small or Big Gov?: What ever happened to the founding fathers ideal of LIMITED government? Seriously... what happened? Both parties spend like fiscal savants. I was just watching a debate between two candidates for a congressional seat in Texas. It was comical to see them tripping over each other to see who could promise MORE to the audience,..... huh? Is that what we have become? Do we vote for the one who gives us more? I thought we were vigorously self-sufficient, weary of government, and fiercely independent! Since when do we demand that our officials give us MORE? when was the last time someone said, "I am going to cut something", and won? What started with FDR going ape-shit with the raw , er... new deal and giving up the store, has permeated to neo-cons giving away billions of dollars in prescription drugs and education grants, billions of dollars in missiles to kill the planet 50 times over (in case we miss the first 49 times) and adding trillions and trillions to the national debt. What the hell is going on? I am for minimal but effective goverment. I am for fair use of our treasure. I am for giving incentive to the wealth and business creators of the nation so that the bastions of capitalism can reign supreme. But I am also for a goverment that is fair in taxation, able to care for the oppressed and unable to care for themselves, and a goverment smart enough to stay the hell away from my pocket and what I do with my crotch.
(Am I a democrat? or a republican?)

Ok Thats enough issues, don't want to get anybody bored, after all, Monday night Football is on in a few minutes.....

Argumentation 101

.... So what did I learn in my one month long sabbatical? Nada. I really did nothing but detox from life, from myself, from you (Ha!), from them, from it, from Bush, from newspapers, from war, ........, but, I did gain this. We; you and I, dis-agree on a lot of things. Most of the time not because of what we say, but because we don't know the root of the other person's argument. Because our timing is off ever so slightly from the receptor's. (I can just hear 5th estate sharpening his fangs, "this posting is nuts!")

Let me give you the most divisive issue of our time, Abortion.

Emotionally I am against it. To this very day, I suffer the loss of an unborn child I never knew, a face I never touched, and a name I never gave. Enough said. Partial birth? Don't even come near me with that argument (thanks for Always on Watch for the reminder), I cant think of (and maybe some of you can) one good reason why this barbaric procedure should ever be done.
Morally I am against it. I cannot believe this to be good for anyone. Not the mother suffering the indignation of her heels tossed up on stirrups, not the surgeon performing the Hoover maneuver; and certainly not the glob of cells we call a fetus (but conveniently, not a person). How can we save the freakin' whales, the trees, and every stray cat tossed about and selectively not give a shit about life growing inside a woman? The indignation of P.E.T.A railing for the ethical treatment of animals rings hollow when a society draws the moral line in protecting its own procreation process.
Religiously I am ambivalent. Although I am a believer in a higher power I am not beholden to the writings or interpretations of the bible, the Koran or the book of Mormon, especially when its teachings and visions have led to more wars and killings than anything else known to civilization. (I can just hear my family groan after that little morsel of information,... sorry Mom and Dad, you raised your son to think outside the church,... er, box)
Logically I am pro-choice. Why? Because I believe in the creature called woman. I believe that MOST of the time, when all comes to pass, and when she looks at herself in the mirror of her own compass, SHE will bring to herself the best choice. Most woman choose to bring life. Most woman choose the joys and pains of birth. Most woman choose wisely and follow the vestiges of their inherent virtues. So logically, I am not going to permit that we as a society invade the castle that is a woman's body.
Politically I am pro-choice. My soon-to-be-in-expiration Libertarian ass just does not comply with ANY intrusion of Government or society on my private liberties (although a future posting tells why I am not so militant on this matter anymore). No matter how painful the personal memory of abortion is to me as a person, my political belief trumps my emotional pangs over the subject. Period.
Legally, there is no question. The law is the law. Roe V. Wade says that this which nicely complies with my political belief, also happens to be the law of the land. And LAW reigns supreme. Otherwise what kind of society are we if we cherry pick the laws we want to follow? Abortion is LEGAL, just as entering the country under a barbed wire is ILLEGAL, just like owning a firearm (in some cases) is LEGAL, just like discriminating for racial reasons is ILLEGAL. Simple. Its the law, so it trumps whatever argument this mellon of mine can conjure.

How do your issues measure up? Are you arguing them with the same root arguments as the person you are espousing them towards? You may be talking French to his Spanish, ying to his yang,.. insert whatever florid metaphor in here. You know the drill.

The next time you start a pissing party with someone who is just rattling your cage, pushing your buttons, and you just don't understand how he or she doesn't "get it", take a little breath and ask yourself, what is the angle of his argument? is it emotional?, Logical?, moral?, religious? Political? or Legal? You figure that little tidbit, and you'll be surprised how much easier it will be to piss on him or her. Peace.