Friday, June 23, 2006

FOR SALE: 1 vote


Ok. I'm done. Done with Bush, Durbin, Cheney, Schumer, Rice, Hagel, Byrd, Pelosi, Rumsfeld, Clinton, Kerry, Reid, the "other" Clinton, and any form, fashion or mode of politics blah, blah, blah,... done.
I am taking a self-imposed moratorium on political-themed postings for 2 months (God, the withdrawals, I feel the shakes already...) Anybody with enough gluttony to have read any of my postings or comments on other blogs has seen my patience virtually vanish overnight. I'm tired of sucking on the probervial dangling vinegar-piss, spigot-crotch. Done. Instead I will engage in my favorite non-political topics. I've had a million of such puppies brewing in my noggin' for weeks and although they are less important and meaningful than the political topics of the day, they will make me happier than the present crap ever will (no offense to my blogging brethren out there). I'll leave the mortar rounds, opinion-retort mental tennis, and political rantings to persons better able to perform the dance than I am.
But let me leave the political vortex with this. My vote is for sale. Yes Sir; step right up and place your little banner on my virtual lawn. The candidate who gets my vote just has to reply to these 10 questions. They are in no particular order of preference other than the way they oozed out of my frontal lobe. That is my price. The best answers gets my vote. Pure and simple. Democrat, Republican, Green, Libertarian, Communist, Socialist, Anarchist... Release the hounds.

1. Define me the military for the next 50 years. I want to know what you are going to cut, where troops will be stationed world-wide (and in what numbers), what obsolete weapons systems you are going to nix, what bases you are going to close, what overlaping Intelligence Community largesse you are willing to slice and dice, what is the benchmark for foreign deployment, and lastly what is the "evolution" (not exit) strategy for our role in Iraq and Af-crap-astan. I want to know what the goals are in 6-month increments, the time-benchmarks for them to self-defend and what will be the organization of our de-facto permanent presence there. (yes, I do realize we are not going anywhere,... I've seen that Manhattan-sized embassy my taxes are building near the Euphrates...)

2. Define the role of Government in the following: Education, Health Care, Energy development and Research and Welfare. Just those 4. I want detailed and long-term view and implementation of policy on each. Not some Clintonian or Reagan-esque utopian speech that gives plenty of visual dream candy but no substantive pragmatism on how you are going to get it done.

3. Name me ONE cabinet-level layer of government you are going to dis-band. Tell me why you are going to do it and why its demise is good policy. I really don't care which one it is. And yes, this is my Libertarian cheap-ass asking you to throw me a bone.

4. Define for me what is your view on Capitalism and Socialism. Since the American society is obviously shaping to be a morphing of some of the vestiges of each of these unique and opposing mantras I want to hear you tell me how the next 50 years are going to shape this tentative union. How Socialist are we going to become? Like northern snow-country Europe? Canada? Venezuela? France? England?... a combination thereof?

5. How are you going to redesign Social Security and Medicare? These are the 2 biggest elephants in the fiscal room and you guys just keep sweeping those tusks to the closet. You suckers in red ties (or lousy powder blue pant suits) don't want to face up to the facts do you.... You demonize anybody even doing a cursory attempt to fix it, you scare the feces out of the older population into believing their lousy $600 bucks a month will be a thing of the past, and you use it like currency to navigate the halls of legislation. You are all bastard-at-arms for not working on this, but I will give you one more shot to convince my cynical butt that you have the magic bullet. Go ahead,.. make my vote.

6. Yes or No. Are you going to build 30 new refineries and 30 new nuclear plants? (You know, sorta' like France is doing...). Give me a detailed reason why you've made your choice. Details, details, details. No double speak, focus-group tested, public relations firm designed, media-trolling one-liners. I want a 5,000 word thesis on your web site that any layman can understand and thereby hammer you with, once you are done.

7. Can you spend a year campaigning without mentioning the other person? I want to know if you can campaign on your own ideas, and on your own merit, that you can completely ignore any attack, verbal bomb, negative ad or cynical op-ed coming your way......... just break the mold of politico-speak. Talk about you, what you are going to do, what you believe in, why voting for YOU is best for Mother America. One year. Not even the minions in your campaign staff can do it for you. No press release, no "swift-boating", no late campaign "he had a DUI in his youth" morsel.... Zero.

8. Give me a concise plan to overhaul the immigration policy as it stands. Point by point, issue by issue.. from the State Department's archaic policy overhaul, to border matters, fence building, personnel security configuration, Work visas, guest worker programs, quotas of entries,.... the whole Magilla.

9. What is going to be the role of your wife or husband in your administration? Humor me please. Tell me what type of interviews will be allowed (Cosmo? Esquire? Mad Magazine?), what pet projects are to be made du jour, what type of White House china will be picked, ...will you have a pet? How many gala events will you hold in your first 100 days, how many cheap cufflings will you give out at the $5,000-a-pop diners, one-ply? or two-ply for toilet paper? and lastly will you use bullet-proof Toyota Prius' in the Presidential motorcades? (that last pebble was for you, Al G... the site of your 10 miles per gallon-guzzlin' limousine motorcade approaching the Democratic Convention on the night of your acceptance "Kiss" speech in 2000 is still in my mind as the epitomy of "An inconvenient truth" you hypocrite) ... and yes,... I still may see your "I love myself" movie.

10. A philosophical question. Explain to me the beauty of a country where it is mandated to the Military to handle the book of Koran a certain way, always with two hands, (and fully with the respect WE don't even offer to our own religious practitioners)... while serving the needs of prisoners at Gitmo, ... yet we can use the American Flag to roast marshmellows, wax the Volvo, clean your Cat's litter box etc., and no one should get offended over that. A quick Synopsis will do.

Ok, my political exile starts now. You can send you replies to as many of my friends as you like, ... they after all, live vicariously through my musings. This posting will self-destruct in 5 seconds.

20 comments:

Brooke said...

Hi! I saw your visit; thanks!

Nice post. I am at this point myself!

The dems could fall off the face of the Earth and I don't think it'd be a bad thing... And at the same time, I feel like the Republicans have fallen into a vat of acid and emerged as the Joker or something. I feel like I'm one of the few SANE gop'ers out there.

I don't know how you're going to get away from politics for two months; as infuriating as it is, it sure is addictive!

Truth-Pain said...

Brooke: Welcome to Casa de Truth-pain, where your opinions are at the mercy of my delete button :)
Just kiddin',.. thanks for the visit.
I think I have to do this. My mind is too warped and i have to re-energize for the fall elections, thats when the real fun comes in,.. you would not want me to be tired THEN would ya'?

betmo said...

you go out in style. these are really great points. i am sorry that you are mentally fatigued- i will try and have some neutral topics for you to come by for- i would hate to think that you are taking a complete break- you opinion would be missed :) i do understand though. i hope that you won't be too disappointed when your questions are not answered by any of the candidates who do run. politics is not ready for common sense just yet- but it's coming.

Truth-Pain said...

Betmo: ...you think I would dare take a complete break?... are you kiddin'?.. my noggin would shrivel up to nothing-ness...
Don't think your site had anything to do with this specifically (never, i love your stuff, even when it gets me riled), I think it was the collective political thing thats all. I will write even more now. I've had these topics in tow for way too long to keep them hidden any more time. Good to see you today :)

D.Daddio Al-Ozarka said...

D.Daddio Al-Ozarka, here!

I saw you had visited and decided to stop by. I'm glad I did!


Would you mind my linking this post on my blog? It's a great list of questions for candidates. But a list I'm absolutely sure you'll not get an answer for. But, of course, that's the whole point.

Cheers!

Truth-Pain said...

Not at all! Welcome to casa de Truth-Pain. Opinions and rantings ad nauseum are always treated with grace (well..most of the time).
You are correct in that most politicians wont reply to any of this, and if so, they will do so with crib notes. So be it.
I will stop by again, thanks for the kind words.
Cheers!

Truth-Pain said...

p.s. D.Daddio Al-Ozarka.. link away, very flattered, thank you.

Ellie said...

you make good points but I agree with d.daddio i doubt that politicians will ever answer these questions.

I can understand the need for a break...but two months?? How can you stay away that long? Politics is like coffee...so freeking addictive. anyways have a good break and I hope you don't vanish entirely, your opinions are always valued. :)

Sarah said...

I'm always visiting your blog, no matter what you happen to talk about. You can always comment at the useless nonsense and political rantings that lack all common sense at my blog. I need your balance and unique opinions.

You are a gracious, funny guy! But do take time to enjoy life - blogging is just a small part of it.

Truth-Pain said...

Ellie & Sarah:
After re-reading my posting I realized I sounded like I was taking a full-on break from blogging. No at all. I meant a break from politically-themed postings, thats all. I went ahead and clarified what I meant in the post itself :)
I always hold the two of you in high esteem and think of your sites as one of very few places I can safely land without being jettisoned for being .... well, for being me.
Not to worry, I will still be posting, still be ranting (albeit about other things) and still be dropping by...
Cheers ladies :)

quakerdave said...

I'll address your list when I get, like, a free half hour this week.

And here's a bet: with the way the world is right now, there is NO WAY you're going to be able to resist the temptation to post about something political. Besides, almost anything you can mention has a political angle to it.

Truth-Pain said...

QD: I did not know you were running for office :) ..... but I am curious to get feedback from your progressive end of things, feel free to address the questions at your leisure....
As to resisting the temptation?... I feel ya', I know it is going to be murderous to quell my desire to pounce on something tempting,and I fully agree that everything in inter-linked with politics... but I will do my best. I'm just brain-baked right now.
... How are those 6-string lessons coming?...

D.Daddio Al-Ozarka said...

Thanks, t-p! I'll get something up tonight or tomorrow.

tugboatcapn said...

T-P, I followed you back here fro D.Dad's site, and I like what i see so far.

Would you mind if I Blogroll you also?

I have been looking for some other intelligent, respectful, and deep thinking Bloggers with which to interact in order to expand my Blogging Universe.

You have a great site over here.

Truth-Pain said...

Tugboatcapn: Welcome to Casa de Truth-Pain.. I appreciate you stopping by, for your kind words and invitation to share opinions. Feel free to blogroll me. I am in the process of doing one of my own and will reciprocate in kind. Enjoy your stay and I will be visiting you soon as well, Cheers!

Always On Watch said...

Truth-Pain,
I love the rant at the beginning of this blog article. I've never been much of a politico follower, but over the past four months I've grown weary of the lot of them.

Truth-Pain said...

AOW: I feel your pain :)
Im just in full on polical detox mode right now,... It actually feels good to be swimming in calmer waters for awhile !

Publius said...

You don’t have to write about politics, it still leaves sex, race, religion, and a host of other just as fun topics. But I will say this; I truly believe it only takes one good man to lead, because one good man will find other good men to help him. We lack that now and instead all we have are people who are afraid of losing their jobs. I would rather have someone do what he believes is right even if it is unpopular than to only do what will keep him in office.

msliberty said...

I keep reading your comments on Sappho's page and thought it was time for me to stop by...

This is a thought-provoking list of questions, to be sure, and you are very articulate in the way you address these important issues!

Thanks for the great read!

Truth-Pain said...

Msliberty:
Welcome to Casa de Truth-pain. Your comments are always welcomed and encouraged, no matter the view. Thanks for the kind words :)