Saturday, March 31, 2007

King of the World 3.0

In my continuing series of "If I were King...", I offer the following ideas in the hope of getting pelted by unbelievers...

April 16th, Election Day! It occurs to me that this is the best day to have our National Elections, for there is no time I am more pissed than when I realize how much I paid in "contributions". If I miscalculated in my deductions and get a "reimbursement", then I am really peeved that Government kept my money a whole year without paying me a cent of interest. After all, we all know know lenient in penalties and interest they are if you file past midnight of the 15th. What a great way to make tax reform a central issue EVERY election and not just during the financial bumps of the times. Think of it, you file your taxes one day, and roll into your polling station the next day either pissed (like me) or happy to contribute to the good of all mankind (like everybody else BUT me, apparently).

Why can Israel have full elections in 60 days? You want to know why we are full of cynicism and political fatigue? Because our political season is,... well, obscene. It begins 15 minutes after each election cycle and we get impaled with it forever. I actually look forward to tax season, just to forget about this never-ending of seasons; even if but for the time my turbo tax program readies me for another orifice. Immediately after November 6th, everybody starts jockeying for position, injecting their PAC's with steroid-like infusion of money-gathering ethos, and States (like California for example) start hopping other state's primary dates in hoping their voices have greater impact in the coronation of their party's King. We're done with this. King Truth-Pain hereby says that from now on our political season lasts 2 months. Primaries, political contributions, public advertising, debates, conventions and lastly the obligatory masturbatory 12-hour election-night media debauchery all occurs in 60 calendar days. There, now we all can enjoy life without politicians on TV for 46 straight months. Oh yeah, mid-term elections have 30 days to get their shit together. That's it.

Unions should be in charge of the borders. I hear the voices... "what the f***k is the pain-man ranting about now..." I don't know, I just thought that since the Minutemen are hated, the border patrol is ill fully equipped to help any President do his Constitutional duty; and any attempt to build walls or prevent masses of humanity from entering comes across as inhuman, calloused and mean, then we should put those real gate-keepers of American job interests in charge; the unions. Think of it, Cesar Chavez, the left's patron saint of farm worker rights even put his very own "wet line" on the borders to keep his very own Mexican brethren from taking a dip on the Rio Grande and swimming over to take his precious union jobs (bet you didn't hear that from the media, did you...). One reason Unions such as those representing Steel workers, Teachers and Auto workers don't worry about it too much is that 90% of the people coming across go into farming, janitorial and manual labor; hardly a threat to their jobs or tenure (not to mention that they mostly vote Democrat). But let there be a monsoon of say qualified auto workers taking over jobs in Michigan, California and Tennessee and you will see a "steel line" of UAW picketers from San Diego to Brownsville (and this is a quote from my Democrat-loving buddy who works at the nearby MUNNI plant of Fremont, California). So, by Fiat, I am putting James Hoffa Jr. in charge of border control. Let him decide who gets to live the American dream of "pursuing happiness". How worse can it get?

And I just got tagged for being in someones "Thinking Blogger award" (Mustang!, what were you thinking?).... Guess I have to get busy tagging somebody,.... look out~~~


Obob said...

Obob's replies
April 16th, Election Day!
You would never see a Democrat in office again
Why can Israel have full elections in 60 days?
What else would our media do and $80 Billion to better causes
Unions should be in charge of the borders.
The borders would be a free for all during 1st break, lunch break, 2nd break, siesta, and all "meetings"

Truth-Pain said...

I don't mind seeing a Democrat in the WH, what I mind is the monolithic types I have to choose from, there is no serious variety of thought in the party. I think the same can be said about the Repubs; although in their defense say Guiliani and Brownback are worlds apart...
As to the 80 Billion?... you're right.... why fight it?, resistance is futile...

Anonymous said...

1. I think the federal government should pay for all federal elections. It would remove the bribes to both parties from foreign governments. I was thinking of a per capita stipend of about . . . oh . . . $1.25.

2. We should spend no more than 3 weeks on national elections. The average American doesn't have an attention span much more than that. PLUS, it would require that candidates at least say SOMETHING important within that period of time.

PS. Is "cnahbfnu" really a word?

Brooke said...

#1. Excellent idea! Couple that with not having your taxes removed from your check; rather, every week you have to write a check and mail it to the gov't. Then, on the 16th, you either get to write ANOTHER check, or get to see your interest-free money return to your pocket...

BLAMMO. Not only would elections go badly for the politicians, we'd probably have another revolution!

#2. Totally. Dammit, we're drowning under all the Shrillary, Obama, Guliani and McCain!

#3. LOL! Who would guard the borders on holidays ?

Renegade Eye said...

I live in Minneapolis. The GOP convention will be mostly in St. Paul. I dread that convention being here. Too much campaigning in the USA.

The best thing unionized farm workers could do, is do what they can to unionize in Mexico as well.

Always On Watch Two said...

I like that idea about moving Election Day to April 16. Even for those of us on the estimated-tax-payments schedule can forget just how much the feds steal from our pockets. We pay tax on September 15, some distance from November.

Of course, such a move of the date would require a Constitutional amendment. You can bet that no politician would like to see moving the date.

The government doesn't have any money except what it takes from the taxpayers' pockets. Some people don't seem to realize that fact.

Already, I'm suffering burn-out, and the 2008 National Election Day is far away. I can barely stand watching the news, and the phone constantly rings with campaign-funds solicitors on the other end of the line. If not for caller ID, I'd have to shut the phone completely off.

tugboatcapn said...

I actually would be in favor of repealing the 16th Ammendment altogether.

Replace it with a Consumption Tax, or a National Sales Tax.

And I would also favor a Constitutional Ammendment stating that the Federal Government be restricted to spending money on only those things specifically listed as acceptable uses for Federal Tax Dollars in the U.S. Constitution. No more "Gray area" expenditures covered by the "providing for the common good" phrase.

By the way, I'm self employed, so I pay my Taxes Quarterly.

It takes me almost three months to get over paying the last payment, so whichever day is Election day, I will still vote the same way.

Robert said...

I am all for tax day being the 15th.

Stop the witholding, and make us write a check once a month. See how many tax increases go through then. See what the main election is each year, and see how many people are brave enough to declare every "-ism" a disease that taxpayers must fund!

jamal said...

Wit hreference to what you said about Israel, if i were king there would be no israel!

benning said...

I fear even holding elections on Tax Day itself would not change the minds of many Americans. They vote their own desires and not what is best for the country at large.

Parliamentary governments can hold quick elections simply because an election can be called practically anytime. Not so here where the Constitution says when national elections must be held. The endless election cycle would not end, either, even if we changed our election laws. Our politicians are too enamored of posing for the cameras to give up electioneering.

Union border patrols? Maybe, but not without a WHOLE lot of oversight. The corruption of the Unions is too endemic to allow them a free hand!

Very good ideas! Odd, but good! LOL

Renegade Eye said...

I haven't heard from you in awhile.

benning said...

Y'know, you ought to get back here and say something. Silence ain't really golden!