In my continuing series of "If I were King...", I offer the following ideas in the hope of getting pelted by unbelievers...
April 16th, Election Day! It occurs to me that this is the best day to have our National Elections, for there is no time I am more pissed than when I realize how much I paid in "contributions". If I miscalculated in my deductions and get a "reimbursement", then I am really peeved that Government kept my money a whole year without paying me a cent of interest. After all, we all know know lenient in penalties and interest they are if you file past midnight of the 15th. What a great way to make tax reform a central issue EVERY election and not just during the financial bumps of the times. Think of it, you file your taxes one day, and roll into your polling station the next day either pissed (like me) or happy to contribute to the good of all mankind (like everybody else BUT me, apparently).
Why can Israel have full elections in 60 days? You want to know why we are full of cynicism and political fatigue? Because our political season is,... well, obscene. It begins 15 minutes after each election cycle and we get impaled with it forever. I actually look forward to tax season, just to forget about this never-ending of seasons; even if but for the time my turbo tax program readies me for another orifice. Immediately after November 6th, everybody starts jockeying for position, injecting their PAC's with steroid-like infusion of money-gathering ethos, and States (like California for example) start hopping other state's primary dates in hoping their voices have greater impact in the coronation of their party's King. We're done with this. King Truth-Pain hereby says that from now on our political season lasts 2 months. Primaries, political contributions, public advertising, debates, conventions and lastly the obligatory masturbatory 12-hour election-night media debauchery all occurs in 60 calendar days. There, now we all can enjoy life without politicians on TV for 46 straight months. Oh yeah, mid-term elections have 30 days to get their shit together. That's it.
Unions should be in charge of the borders. I hear the voices... "what the f***k is the pain-man ranting about now..." I don't know, I just thought that since the Minutemen are hated, the border patrol is ill fully equipped to help any President do his Constitutional duty; and any attempt to build walls or prevent masses of humanity from entering comes across as inhuman, calloused and mean, then we should put those real gate-keepers of American job interests in charge; the unions. Think of it, Cesar Chavez, the left's patron saint of farm worker rights even put his very own "wet line" on the borders to keep his very own Mexican brethren from taking a dip on the Rio Grande and swimming over to take his precious union jobs (bet you didn't hear that from the media, did you...). One reason Unions such as those representing Steel workers, Teachers and Auto workers don't worry about it too much is that 90% of the people coming across go into farming, janitorial and manual labor; hardly a threat to their jobs or tenure (not to mention that they mostly vote Democrat). But let there be a monsoon of say qualified auto workers taking over jobs in Michigan, California and Tennessee and you will see a "steel line" of UAW picketers from San Diego to Brownsville (and this is a quote from my Democrat-loving buddy who works at the nearby MUNNI plant of Fremont, California). So, by Fiat, I am putting James Hoffa Jr. in charge of border control. Let him decide who gets to live the American dream of "pursuing happiness". How worse can it get?
And I just got tagged for being in someones "Thinking Blogger award" (Mustang!, what were you thinking?).... Guess I have to get busy tagging somebody,.... look out~~~